Foods Rated as if it were Scrabble

This week, amidst a staff shortage, we find ourselves tackling some ambitious crossovers. Our revered food analyst James “Hairy” Mclary PhD (University of West Consinne) has been paired up with one of our younger staff members, Bea Tzimalloni who has been on the Family Board Games editorial team for 18 months. Although less well known, you probably have heard of her work, including such pieces as “How to thrash your kids at Cluedo” and “What the fuck is up with Monopoly”. In this piece they will be combining their skill to rate foods based on their scrabble score.

Cheese on Toast – 18% a family favourite, quick and easy is the name of the game here. For an extra 7% quality, add tomato paste below your cheese.

Fish and Chips 26% Britain is not well known for its native culinary excellence. Though this might be unfair, and despite my personal affectation towards fish and chips, it scores a measly quarter.

Jerk Chicken 41% (double letter) A spicy Caribbean meal is a fun and interesting option out on a work meal without being too out there. This score also benefits from a double letter on the ‘J’.

Roast Lamb Shank with Potatoes and Greens – 56% Always a popular choice at fancier pubs, and despite the high CO2 impact on your diet of a red meet dish, this is a good option and has room to improve it’s score when done excellently. It performs excellently despite no standout, big point letters.

Chicken and Chorizo Jambalaya 66% I’ll be honest – I’ve never had this, as good as it sounds. But since the scores are just off the name that doesn’t matter and this does pretty well in that sense.

Chicken Jalfrezi with Basmati Rice 72% This just happens to be my favourite curry, ever since I moved away from Korma under the 2016 directive to be less vanilla, which also saw my take up Klezmer music and stop buying clothes that fit me.

Tomato and Mozzarella Pizza with Garlic Bread 94% The fact is, you just can’t go that wrong with a well executed margarita pizza. When combined with garlic bread, this carb heavy, Saturday night meal storms to the top of the crowd. Would recommend to a friend. Fun fact – the leaning tower of Pizza is actually made from stone and has nothing to do with tomatoey bread.